


It's Time Now

by Callaeidae3



Series: When It's Time [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Post-season 7, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-07 16:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callaeidae3/pseuds/Callaeidae3
Summary: Keith continues to heal, but there's much hurt that's been left unacknowledged.It's about time the team knew about it, too.(Part Two to When It's Time)





	1. Chapter 1

Emotionally drained and energy spent, Keith doesn’t protest when Krolia offers to carry him back to his room. Shiro had offered to go and get him a wheelchair, but Keith realises now how exposed that would leave him to everyone’s stares. He declines; if he’s carried then at least he has something to hide behind.

“It’s a good thing you were able talk with Shiro,” Krolia murmurs as they walk away from the office-meeting room reserved for team Voltron. “It sure took long enough.”

Keith hums in agreement. “Yeah. Thanks for coming to get me earlier.”

They reach the thoroughfare of the building which connects the pathways to medical wing, the communications tower, a wing of offices and the administration area. There’s people everywhere. What’s worse, one by one those people all turn their heads in his and Krolia’s direction. Among them, the MFE crew.

Keith knows he can’t physically hide from them but he hides his face nonetheless. The action earns a snort from Krolia.

“Are you embarrassed?” she asks, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Keith groans. “Well, duh.”

“I don’t think this is strange. Young Galra are always carried on their mother’s backs.”

“Yeah, but this is _Earth_ and I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You’re young, I’m your mother…I really don’t see what the problem is.”

Keith tucks his head in even further. “Mum!”

As they walk past, Keith realises that the MFE crew have fallen silent. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up. They’re staring right at him, no doubt, but they’re silent, too. There’s not even a sarcastic comment from James Griffin.

Sure, Keith’s injured, so making fun of his need to be carried around the place would be uncalled for, but…

_Oh. I just called her Mum, and she pretty much declared to everyone that she’s my mother._

Now he gets why there’s a stunned silence in the corridor.

A murmuring picks up once they’re out of human-hearing range, but Keith still hears it even though he can’t distinguish the words. Whatever the MFE crew – and the rest of the entire corridor of people, for that matter – are saying, it doesn’t bother Krolia. No doubt Keith will hear about it later, though.

Only when they arrive in front of his hospital room door does Keith lift his head up. He sighs. At least getting stared at is better than getting severely dizzy and being stared at.

Krolia adjusts her balance to slip her foot in the gap between the door frame and the door and then slides it open.

Five excited, friendly faces await him on the other side.

He’d completely forgotten about Pidge planning a group catch-up.

“Hey, Keith!” Hunk exclaims.

“How are you doing?” Allura asks.

Lance smiles. “You feeling any better?”

From his vantage point on Krolia’s back, he frowns at them. “Is everyone going to be asking me that?”

Pidge closes her laptop and puts it aside. “Hey, we have a right to be worried. You were out longer than the rest of us. Not to mention that the Black Lion took the direct impact of that komar-scythe-knife-weapon thing that ship used.”

As she’s talking, Krolia crosses the floor and turns so that Keith can slip off her back onto the bed. Lance and Romelle rearrange the sheets quickly so that he can get into them without hassle. He does so gratefully. Krolia takes her leave and Keith leans back into the raised upper half of the bed.

Keith lets out another sigh. “Pidge, it drained everyone’s energy.”

“Yeah, but it sapped yours the most,” Pidge says. “We may have been Voltron at that point, but the contact point as the Black Lion; the first source of quintessence that thing tapped into was yours and your Lion’s.”

Hunk nods. “Like a robotic parasite.”

“You mean, like a parasitic robot...uh, robeast?”

Lance exchanges a glance with Allura. “You don’t think it was Haggar?”

Allura raises an eyebrow. “Inside that ship? No…”

“No, I mean the one who designed it. Who gave it its weapon capabilities?”

Allura considers that. “Well, if she’s been to Oriande, it is possible she may have learnt how to, like I was able to give Lotor’s ship the ability to enter the quintessence field at will.”

“We all saw how dark its energy output was,” Pidge adds, “and how much it resembled the komar.”

Keith closes his eyes. “Didn’t that druid say Haggar had disappeared?”

“Not disappeared,” Hunk says. “It sounded like she just slunk into the shadows or something.”

Romelle, who’s been quietly listening, mutters something incomprehensible under her breath.

“What did you say?” Allura asks.

“Didn’t Kolivan say that the facility holding the Second Colony was empty? It might be connected somehow.”

This is important. Keith knows it. But it’s getting harder and harder to focus. There’s too many words, too much to think about, and he’s beginning to zone out. Hunk mentions something about Haggar having access to all the information they apparently gave Lotor during their visit to Central Command. It’s at that point Keith starts drifting.

“…uploaded a whole bunch of data on the main Galra ship…”

“The Empire’s screwed and we don’t have the Castleship… I think we’re good.”

Keith’s exhaustion claims him like a tide.

“…for scientific purposes?”

He gives into its pull.

 “…create wormholes. I think…”

“…use him to spy on us.”

“…knew how to get to Oriande.”

 “Hey guys. Is he asleep?”

“…oh wow, he is.”

 

-

\--

\---

 

\--

The nightmare starts with fire.

He calls after his Dad and, unlike when it happened in reality, he does come back.

Alive.

Walking out of the flames –

That’s not his Dad.

The mark on Keith’s cheek begins to burn in a way it never has done and the figure striding through the fire towards him turns out to be Shiro.

Keith inhales sharply, takes a step back. _That’s not Shiro._

Shiro’s right arm slices through flames. It’s glowing. Laser pink.

His eyes lock onto Keith and he grins.

The alight building explodes. What remains collapses in on itself. The entire scene before him begins to fall apart, and now Keith’s falling with it.

Falling.

…falling. Too fast. His heart lurches.

He can’t stop himself. There’s nothing to hold onto.

Keith senses someone falling with him, above him, and he looks up and sees Shiro, eyes unnaturally wide and mouth still curled in a grin. They’re both falling, but he’s gaining speed.

He’s catching up to Keith. He wants to get to him before he crashes into the ground.

Not to save him, of course; to kill him.

“Shiro, stop!” Keith yells. “Please, you’re my brother!”

Closer, closer –

“Shiro!”

  - _closer, clo-_

 _Wait a second_. For a moment Keith forgets about Shiro sky-diving within arm’s reach of him. The planet’s atmosphere isn’t white anymore. Instead, it’s lit up in a disturbing purple glow. Keith looks down.

That’s not a planet he’s about to crash into. It’s a planet-turned-bomb.

Naxzela.

He’s in a ship now, hurtling towards the Galra cruiser.

_...juST drIFt oFf by yOursELF, Mr. LoNE WolF?_

_\- seeing how you_ LEFt us _._

He’s going to hit the shield. He’s going to hit the shield.

_KEIth, yOu ran AWAy._

Impact imminent in 3…

…2

_MaYBe yOu SHould’Ve jUst sTAYEd aWay._

1 –

Keith jerks awake.

He’s sweating.

His heart is hammering.

A nightmare? A nightmare, yes.

Keith sits up slowly. It’s dark. Krolia’s lying down, asleep, on the bench by the window. Kosmo’s resting by her feet. The wolf raises his head to stare at Keith inquisitively. With a grimace, Keith looks away.

He knows where he is but that’s not grounding enough. He needs to move. It’s not something he should be doing much of, but he needs it right now. He’s not going to be able to come himself down unless he does.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Keith sucks in a breath and stands up. His knees feel like they’re about to buckle. Keith places a hand on the bed rail, closes his eyes a moment to listen to his pounding heartbeat. He needs this walk. He’s not dizzy anymore so he should be fine.

Risking a glance over his shoulder to check that his mother is still asleep, he quietly slides the door open and staggers out into the hallway.

Nobody’s up. The relief is immense. Keith takes a moment to lean his weight against the wall, to take a few deep breathes to steady himself, then continues on his way.

He has no idea where he’s going. The layout of the Garrison has changed considerably since he last here, as a cadet, and until now he’s had no reason to explore past the medical wing. There’s only one path that’s familiar to him – the one that leads to the room reserved for the Voltron team; the one Krolia carried him down earlier.

 _Well, it’s better than getting myself lost,_ he thinks dimly.

Keith wraps his arms around himself. The empty corridor somehow makes him feel more self-conscious of the fact that he’s not wearing his own clothing. The hospital shirt and the grey pants he woke up in aren’t uncomfortable per say but their looseness makes him feel vulnerable. He’s been in Garrison uniform, snug-fitting shirt and pants, paladin armour or Blade suit for the last six or so years that this…it just doesn’t feel right on him.

His thoughts flick inevitably back to the dream. It contained a lot of the memories Keith tries to suppress, just horribly all mixed up and blended into one. He’s fairly sure he knows what triggered it: the conversation with Shiro.

Krolia wasn’t wrong. They’d needed to talk about what happened at the facility. Shiro had been beating himself up over it and seeing Keith unconscious after pulling him out of the Black Lion wouldn’t have helped. Knowing that, Keith had been desperate to let Shiro know that he didn’t blame him for what happened, but…

He’d lied when he’d said it was fine. Keith isn’t fine. That fight was traumatising.

But if Shiro knew how deep that terror cut, he’d go back to blaming himself all over again. Keith doesn’t want to do that to him. Shiro’s got enough in his life to deal with.

He’s going to have to let the team know eventually. They still aren’t aware they even fought. Or maybe they are? Pidge might’ve figured it out, but otherwise nobody knows yet that it was Keith who took off Shiro’s right arm, and nobody knows how, had he not done that, the blade extending from that arm would’ve sawn right through him.

Shiro had hesitated, back there, but…it hadn’t been enough.

Keith’s pleas hadn’t been enough.

“…th?”

And since he hadn’t had the _guts_ to fight Shiro back, he nearly wound up getting himself killed.

“...Keith.”

He’s stopped walking. Krolia is standing beside him, her expression concerned and curious.

“I’m fine,” Keith says hastily. “I’m fine.”

His mother narrows her eyes. “Are you?”

Keith lets out a weak cough. “Yep. I’m okay. I just, uh…no, it’s nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“Okay, it wasn’t nothing, but I’m fine now, so…” Keith winces. _Another lie._ “Can we please not talk about it right now?”

Krolia huffs in exasperation. “A flashback, am I right? Your face says it all.”

A flashback? He’d been thinking about the nightmare and then the fight…wait.

“My face?” _Is she talking about the mark?_

“You completely zoned out and your eyes went all wide.”

“Is…that all?”

“Son, what colour are my eyes?”

Keith’s face pales. His heart beat picks up. _Surely she doesn’t mean that I…_

_“That’s the Keith I remember!” not-Shiro says with a grin._

Krolia raises an eyebrow. “There,” she murmurs. “You’re doing it again.”

Keith’s breath hitches. “But I…I’m not…”

Footsteps in the hallway come to an abrupt halt. Keith flinches. He turns his head – not thinking about what he should be hiding – and sees Shiro standing frozen in the hallway, staring at him.

Too late. He’s already seen.

Shiro clears his throat. “Guessing you couldn’t sleep either?”

Keith averts his eyes. _Oh. Shiro, too._

With a hand on his shoulder, Krolia steers Keith around in the direction of the Voltron meeting room. Apparently he walked past the turn off he needed to take. Reluctantly, he allows himself to be lead.

“Keith,” Shiro says, falling in to walk beside them. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Fine.”

“You don’t seem it.”

“I…I had a nightmare, is all. Really it’s nothing.”

Shiro lowers his voice considerably. “…about what happened at the facility?”

There’s no way Keith can lie to that. Krolia gives him a pointed stare out of the corner of her eye.

Keith shrugs. “Not entirely.”

In other words, yes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Maybe some other time.”

He’s doing exactly what Shiro did the past week: avoiding. But Keith doesn’t know _how_ to talk about it. The only one who’s ever listened to him is Shiro, and he’s the one that’s going to end up hurt if Keith speaks what’s on his mind.

According to Krolia’s earlier observation and Shiro’s insight, though, he’s not doing a very good job at hiding it.

Krolia takes a longer step and comes to stand directly in front of him. “I think it’s been long enough.”

All of a sudden, Keith’s acutely aware that he’s basically being cornered. Krolia, Shiro and the wall to Keith’s other side are blocking his path. The only exit he has is behind him.

The adrenaline returns from where it left off at the nightmare and with it, the headache.

Shiro says something. Keith doesn’t hear him.

The lights are too bright.

He can’t deal with all these emotions right now.

It’s too much.

It’s too much.

 

Keith runs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's hit breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all your kudos and comments on this series!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

After five seconds, Keith realises what a bad idea this is. 

He’s panicking. He knows that. He needs to slow down, take deep breaths, calm himself - but running is instinctive and his mind isn’t catching up what his brain is trying to tell him. The only thing he can do is _run, run, run._

He doesn’t get very far before his legs threaten to give way and the room lurches sideways. Keith almost loses his balance but doesn’t, so he keeps going. He can't afford to stop. Krolia and Shiro are coming after him now. They’ll want him to tell them what’s going on but he can’t because he’s _so confused._ He doesn’t even know what’s going on himself, and that terrifies him.

He’s not a kid anymore. Keith’s a paladin and a Blade.

If he can't get his emotions under control then he's going to get in serious trouble, one way or another.

_But no matter how Galra I am, I’m still human._

Yes, but he should have it together better than this. Krolia’s going to tell him that, on behalf of Kolivan, isn’t she? Shiro’s going to tell that, too, right?

Black. He can hide in Black until he recomposes himself. Where’s Black?

His head’s spinning and he’s out of breath. He’s not going to make it that far. _Keep going. Keep going._ But then his legs stop moving and he trips over his own feet, momentum sending him crashing into the ground. He jars an elbow trying to catch himself.

His heart beats faster. Something’s wrong with his vision; it’s blurring. There’s footsteps behind him. He’s running on adrenaline and there’s not enough oxygen getting to his head but he’s got to keep moving or they’ll catch him.

Keith brings his legs underneath himself, pushes himself up on shaking arms and promptly blacks out.

 

 

His chin bumps on someone’s shoulder. He groans.

A steady hand on the back of his neck. “You’re okay, Keith. Everything’s going to be fine.”

_But everything’s not fine._ His head hurts. The ground is moving beneath him. Someone’s moving him around a lot and it’s making him feel worse. He wants to ask whoever’s carrying him on their back to slow down a little, but he can’t find the energy to talk.

The lighting changes suddenly and Keith screws his eyes shut even more. Words are exchanged between familiar and unfamiliar voices. He recognises Shiro’s voice. Krolia must be the one carrying him. When she speaks, her voice is right next to him and he can feel the rumble of it against his cheek.

It’s grounding.

Then he’s being lifted off her back and he can’t help but make a noise of protest. Krolia makes a noise back, a calming one, and Shiro reassures him he’s okay but Keith know he’s not. He just doesn’t know how and it’s overwhelming.

The komar must’ve drained him more than he thought, he realises. He’d recovered from the Trials of Marmora fairly quickly, and of the times he’s fainted or been knocked unconscious, it’s never been this nauseating.

_I guess Pidge has a right to be worried, after all._

Someone – a medtech, so Keith sees when he opens his eyes for a second – says something about dehydration. Keith can’t actually remember the last time he drank any water. He’d had some while he was eating a late lunch with Pidge, before Krolia came and took him to the Voltron meeting room to talk to Shiro… but after that?

Shiro brushes his bangs aside to feel his forehead. Keith knows that it’s Shiro because Krolia’s hands aren’t this warm. Shiro withdraws his hand, leaving Keith’s head somehow aching more.

_Running was a bad idea,_ he concludes. _A really bad idea._

An IV line is inserted in the crook of his elbow. He barely registers the needle going in beneath the nauseating dizziness. It’s a good thing they’re not making him drink anything. He’s not sure he could hold anything down. The lights are dimmed down and then the IV’s being connected to a drip.

The medtech starts talking them all through what he’s giving him, but Keith’s too tired to hear anything but gibberish. Krolia most likely understands none of it. Maybe the guy’s just talking to Shiro. Maybe…

At some point Krolia takes her leave and the medtech retreats to give Shiro and Keith some space. Keith isn’t in the mood for talking, but it’s probably best to have it now than later. It’s not as if he’s going anywhere now, anyway.

Shiro sighs. “What happened back there, Keith?”

“Shouldn’t’ve run,” Keith mumbles eventually.

“Well, I’m glad that you’ve figured that out, but I’m meaning what happened before that.”

 “…it’s nothing. I got worked up over a nightmare, ‘s all.”

“About something that actually happened. Something that scared you.”

“I should’ve gotten over it by now. It’s been a decent couple of months…”

“Some things we don’t get over,” Shiro murmurs. “Sure, we may learn how to cope with the memory a little better, but that doesn’t mean we forget. You just haven’t had enough time to process your emotions yet.

“I…you saw how I was today. I was a wreck. I’d been bottling everything up inside of me, telling myself that I’ll deal with it later. I mean, I had to. There’s a war to fight and things to coordinate… but talking with you is something I shouldn’t have put off. I’m sorry. I should’ve come talked to you sooner.”

Keith opens his eyes enough to squint at Shiro. “It’s not your fault.”

“Neither is it yours.”

He stares at Shiro wearily. He means it, doesn’t he? Shiro doesn’t blame him for not talking about it sooner…

“What did you see in your nightmare?”

“A lot of things.”

“What were they?”

Keith swallows. “Naxzela. The fight we had. Dad dying. Other stuff…”

“Naxzela?”

“I was going to kill myself. For the mission.”

The room falls silent as Shiro processes this information. Keith grounds himself by focusing on the steady beat of his heart and the slow but sure relief of the IV sweeping around his body.

“Everyone thought I’d been the one to stop Naxzela from going off,” Keith says. He lets out a shaky breath. “They all cheered.”

Shiro’s brow creases. “How did they not know that you were…?”

“I don’t know. I had a line open with Matt, too. He knew. But when the charge stopped, you congratulated me…the clone _congratulated_ me when I...would’ve…”

“Gosh, Keith. I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you. That must’ve shaken you up pretty badly.”

“Yeah. It did.”

Having a ship to fly back to base was the only thing stopping him from descending into shock then and there. That had happened once he got out of the ship, though. Kolivan had watched it happen and said nothing, typical Blade leader style.

“And what about the ‘other stuff’?” Shiro asks. “Can you tell me what that’s about?”

Oh. _That._

Keith closes his eyes a moment, trying to think of how to explain it. “You remember when we drifted through that weird dark nebula, dark matter space thing,” he says, “and you, Romelle, Kosmo and Coran all got frozen in time or something?”

“Not very well.”

“Well, the Lions stopped working. They started drifting apart, so we got out of them and tried to push them back together but it didn’t work. We ended up being torn away from them by some weird flashes. Lost sight of them. We were drifting in space in the middle of nowhere…”

Shiro nods. “Guessing that messed with everyone’s minds a little, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I have a theory on what happened there,” Shiro says, a small smile tugging at his lips. “But I’ll save you the extra headache for now. Next time we have a group meeting I’ll tell you.” He pauses then, smile fading. “It wasn’t being stranded in space though, was it? What you nightmared about, I mean?”

Keith’s cheek twitches. “No… it wasn’t.”

As much as he’d rather not talk about it, if there’s anyone he can trust to understand where he’s coming from it’s Shiro. Shiro waits patiently. Keith takes a deep breath.

“We all said some pretty awful things to each other,” Keith says quietly. “All of us. Just…some of the things they said to me…I…”

His voice catches in his throat. Before he can stop it, tears are welling in his eyes. The realisation that he’s crying only makes him cry more, and he’s exhausted, so it comes out as in sobs.

“I-I just…I can’t…”

Shiro leans over him and hugs him. Keith doesn’t have the energy to pull himself into the hug, so he just lies there on the medical room bed, shaking and trying desperately to get a grip on his emotions.

“Why did you keep all this to yourself for so long?” Shiro murmurs in his ear. “You should’ve come talked to me.”

Keith’s been hurt by people’s words far too often. If words wounded physically, he’d be covered in bruises and old wounds, some of which keep opening afresh. Shiro knows how sensitive Keith is to words and tone of voice, but Shiro’s been through so much physical torment that Keith could never bring himself to talk about his own problems which always seem so minor in comparison.

He finds himself admitting this.

“I don’t know,” he mutters thickly. “I guess…I just – you’ve been through much worse, and I…”

“Hey, don’t compare hurts. It doesn’t matter if I have PTSD and you don’t. It doesn’t matter if we both do. It doesn’t negate the fact that those things – those things they said to you – hurt you deeply.”

“I was worried that if I talked to you a-about the fight, you’d blame yourself, or…or if I told you about this stuff, you’d just tell me to get over it or something.”

“Sometimes it’s not just that simple though, eh?” Shiro releases his him, frowning. “Keith, I appreciate your concern, but internalising your hurt is only going to make it worse. And if this does turn out to be post-traumatic stress for you, then I want you to talk to me. Even if it’s something as seemingly little as you’re struggling to have any appetite, or you’re finding it hard to concentrate and remember things, or that you’re finding that sounds that usually wouldn’t bother you suddenly do. You can talk to me, Keith. You’re not alone. I’m here for you. The team is, too.”

Keith sniffs. “Are they really?” He brings a hand up to his face, wiping the tears away. ”Would they be, if I wasn’t Black Paladin? If they didn’t need me?”

“Is this about what the others said to you when you were stranded?”

“T-they don’t want me Shiro. Nobody ever _wants_ me.”

He’s losing it. Again. It’s horrible and he can’t stop it and he feels so ashamed calling himself the leader of Voltron when he’s like this. But then Shiro, who’s been there – who’s been exactly where he is many, many times – is sitting on the edge of the bed and scooping him up in a hug and Keith feels what traction he had on his composure crumbling all over again.

“C’mere, buddy,” he murmurs. “You’re tired, okay? I know it’s hard to think properly right now, but you don’t have to doubt that the team has your back. Maybe they don’t know how badly those words hurt you because they don’t know what you’ve been through. Not the full extent of it, at least.”

“Yeah, I _get that_ , okay? I don’t expect them to know. I just…”

“You’re scared.”

Keith nods, screwing his eyes shut. “I-I’ve got no one…else.”

“We’re not going to leave you, okay? We’re not going to leave you. Not willingly.”

“D-don’t…”

“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Why is this h-happening to m-me?”

“You’re exhausted, is all. And you’re injured. That’s a lot of stress for your body to handle all at once. It’s spending so much energy trying to heal you and restore your strength that it doesn’t have much to spare to help you process your emotions. Just give it time, alright? You’re going to be okay.”

Shiro continues to hold Keith in his arms, the prosthetic one’s energy field humming softly. By the time Keith exhausts all his tears, he feels like a complete and utter wreck, but surprisingly he feels better for it.

As they wait for the IV to finish, Keith gives in to the need to rest and slumps against Shiro. Shiro rubs his back with his human hand in slow, gentle circles.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Shiro repeats.

 

 

Lance, who has been standing outside the door listening, turns away in shame.

_“Keith, you ran away. Maybe you should’ve just stayed away.”_

_“Just drift off by yourself, Mr. Lone Wolf.”_

Numbly, he walks away from the medical wing, Kosmo at his side. Lance runs a hand through the wolf’s fur, letting out a deep sigh. He can’t believe he said those things. Better yet, he can’t believe that he still hasn’t apologised to Keith for saying them.

This… needs to be fixed, only it can’t – it’s too late for that. But it’s not too late to apologise, and it’s about time they all did so.

Lance pulls out his Garrison-issue communicator and sends a message to Allura, Pidge and Hunk:

_Afternoon or evening. Let me know when you’re all free._

_I’m calling an urgent team bonding exercise._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, you guys are awesome!! For some reason I'd begun to doubt whether this fic was being enjoyed or not, and then your comments came in and people kept leaving kudos and it really warmed my heart! So thank you <3 <3

The staff in the medical wing are beginning to realise that keeping Keith in hospital isn’t really helping him recover. He needs his own space, away from watchful eyes. He needs quiet and time to himself. He’s discharged just shy of noon.

The way they talk makes Keith convinced that Shiro must’ve had a good talk with them. When, he isn’t sure. It could’ve been during the unintentional nap he’d taken in Shiro’s arms while the IV was still going, or it could’ve later, after Shiro had helped him back to his room.

Either way, he’s grateful. Maybe he’ll stop being so restless if he has the freedom to go where he wants, when he wants, how he wants.

If only his body would let him.

Keith’s still an emotional wreck from last night’s ordeal. He’d managed to get back to sleep alright in the end, but waking up turned out to be awful. His legs are stiff and weak, muscles hurting when he moves and aching when he’s not. He can barely walk without his knees feeling like they’re about to buckle.

It’s pathetic. He’s pathetic.

He shouldn’t have run. He should’ve had better control over his emotions.

Thinking of how he could’ve handled it better isn’t helping. It’s only making him more anxious.

After changing out of the hospital clothing and into his Garrison uniform, Keith wanders the hallways. He tries to work the chaotic thoughts out of his mind. He tries to loosen the stiffness from his muscles.

His anxiety only increases tenfold. It’s too loud. There’s people, wherever he turns. Some of them stare. Keith has no idea where he’s going, but he realises he’d better hurry up and decide before he loses composure all of again.

_Black._

He strides down the path that’ll take him to his Lion. The remnant pain in his head flares. He makes a mental note to stop by the next drinking fountain he passes, but it’s out of order, so he continues walking. There’s water in the cockpit, he’ll be fine.

His thoughts are all over the place.

Seven minutes later, Keith arrives at Black’s feet. She seems hesitant to let him in, but when he conveys that he’s in no mood for reckless flying and is perfectly content just to sit with her, she lets him in.

He feels like he can breathe again. No harsh lighting. No recycled air. No noises battering his eardrums. Now that he can hear himself think, his thoughts don’t have to be so high in volume to be heard.

Keith sinks into the familiarity of the pilot’s seat. Black’s presence. The purple glow of the dashboard. He exhales, long and slow.

_I guess it’s time I process these thoughts of mine._

What happened last night is what’s bothering him the most. Maybe he would’ve been able to stop himself from taking off like that, had his heartrate not been up so high and the nightmare not been so fresh in his mind. He’d panicked, realising he couldn’t fight his way through the situation. Physically, he’s too weak at the moment, and mentally-emotionally he’s too fatigued.

_You were unconscious for several days,_ Keith reminds himself. _Of course you’re not going to be at the top of your game._

It’s the fact that he chose to run that scares him. Usually he fights. He never –

Actually come to think of it, running isn’t all that strange for him. He’s been running ever since his mother left him. While Keith may have her back now and while he understands why she left…the damage has already been done. He’s been scarred far too many times by rejection.

That mash-up of bad memories nightmare he had only serves to remind him how raw and painful that old wound still is.

Keith hopes he’s heal someday. Shiro’s been a huge part in that, in helping him realise that not everyone’s bad. Not everyone’s going to think he’s not worth it.  

He even made friends with the other paladins.

But the reality is starting to sink in, now that they’re back on Earth, that everyone had a life they left behind when they went to space. Keith had…nothing. He’d lost Shiro. He’d lost his place at the Garrison. The only thing he had was the Blue Lion’s voice telling him to search.

He’d been surviving.

So when the war is done, when the universe doesn’t need Voltron anymore and Keith’s no longer needed to be a paladin or a Blade or a pilot…does he go back to that? To surviving?

While everyone else goes back to the families they still have, while Shiro steps up into his newfound place of leadership with the Garrison, does Keith go back to the isolation of his home in the desert? Maybe it was destroyed in all the destruction and fighting.

Could he go back out into space, maybe join the Blades again? No. He’s messed up on missions too many times for Kolivan to want him back, surely. Maybe Keith’s more mature now, able to handle his emotions better –

_Like hell I can handle my emotions better. I freaking lost it last night!_

Black’s calm washes over him. The surge of frustration at himself quells.

Keith closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. A thought occurs to him. No, wait, that’s Black speaking to him. But it’s not in her own words.

It’s in Shiro’s. _‘See through the Lion’s eyes.’_

And then, echoing in the background, hers. _Rest._

Exhaustion drags him down.

He falls asleep right there in the pilot’s seat.

 

 

Waking up two hours later, head-space a little better, Keith grabs a drink of bottled water from the Black Lion’s cockpit and then heads back into the Garrison complex.

It’s late afternoon. While it’s still busy, the level of bustling about is beginning to die down. Keith makes his way through the halls, still on edge but not quite so overwhelmed. With nothing for him to do while he’s been ordered to take time to recover, he decides to seek out Shiro.

Shiro could be anywhere. In a meeting. In the control tower. Outside. In a hangar somewhere on the other side of base.

Keith makes it his objective to find him before his legs decide they’ve had enough.

“Oh, hey, Keith.”

He flinches. His brain catches up with him. It’s James Griffin.

How humiliating. Keith, the leader of Voltron, defender of the universe, was just spooked by a person casually saying hi. This emotional state of mind is really getting to him, in more ways than one.

“Good to see you back on your feet,” Griffin remarks.

Keith nods in acknowledgement. “I, uh…thanks.”

There’s an odd look in his eyes. Keith’s not sure what to make of it. With his mind the way it is right now, he doesn’t want to guess.

James clears his throat, averts his eyes. “So, uh…I kind of saw you and your Mum the other day. I reminded me of how I, uh…said some pretty nasty stuff to you back when we were younger. That was stupid of me.”

Keith stares at him, astonished. “Are you _apologising_ to me?”

He shrugs. “Thought that it’s about time I did.”

“O-okay, then. Thanks…for that.”

James grunts. He reaches out a hand, pats Keith on the shoulder and continues on his way.

_Well, that’s a first. Nobody’s ever apologised to me for anything. Except Krolia, for leaving me. And Allura that one time, for outright resenting me when she found out I’m part Galra._

Keith stands where he is for half a minute, stunned. He almost doesn’t know how to receive an apology. It doesn’t really register in his head.

It turns out Keith was right to guess the control tower first. Shiro’s there, talking with Commander Iverson and Sam Holt in semi-circle.

But they look busy. Shiro probably doesn’t have time to spare for him right now.

He’ll come back later –

Shiro sees him and smiles. “Keith. What brings you here?”

_My feet,_ he almost slips out. “Nothing, really.”

“You need to talk to me about something?”

The opportunity’s there. It’s written clear as day on Shiro’s face. Open. Patient. Concerned. Kind. But there’s no way Keith can take advantage of that if Shiro’s in the middle of an important discussion. Sam might be willing to wait a few minutes, but Iverson’s never been that willing to wait around for very long.

“No,” Keith says. “I was just… looking for the others.” It’s not a total lie. “Have you seen them?”

Shiro frowns. He shakes his head. “Sorry. Allura was here just a moment ago, but she said she had somewhere to be and left.”

“Pidge was heading to the Voltron common room with Hunk and Lance the last I saw,” Sam offers. “In Lance’s words, ‘for an urgent team bonding meeting.’”

“Oh…”

_Oh._

Keith’s calm shatters. It must show on his face, because Shiro’s expression falls and his eyes flash. He knows what this sounds like to Keith.

An urgent team bonding meeting, without him. Without Keith. They don’t want him. They don’t consider him a valuable enough part of the team anymore. They don’t need him. They want a new leader.

Shiro excuses himself, wraps his human arm around Keith’s shoulders and steers him around so that they’re heading out the door. Keith lets himself be moved. They walk a few paces from the door and Shiro stops.

“Keith, it’s okay,” Shiro says slowly. “They probably didn’t let you know because they didn’t want you feel like you were missing out. You only just got out of hospital today and you haven’t been feeling good. That’s completely understandable and they get that.”

“Is that what this is about?” he whispers.

“About what?”

But Keith can’t bring himself to say it out loud. That they don’t want him if he’s weak like this. They need a leader who’s strong, both in mind and body. Keith’s neither of those two at present. Sure, he took a lot of damage in the fight and in the fall, but even so…he ought to be more resilient than this.

 “Heeey, Keith.”

He’s the leader and he’s the last to recover?

“Keith.”

All he’s doing is slowing the team down.

“Hey, look at me.”

Keith blinks. Shiro waits, patiently. His lips are pressed in a firm line. Keith stares at him with all the furious intensity he can muster – which isn’t much – in a challenge to deny everything he’s just said.

But all Shiro says is, “Let’s go find them.”

They walk side by side down the stairs, down the hallways. Keith’s energy is wearing thin. The itch to run grows on him again. Shiro seems to sense this and walks a little closer to him.

He should’ve stayed in Black. He should’ve stayed away.

Five minutes later and they’re at the common room door.

Keith freezes up. “I-I can’t.”

“You can.”

“No, Shiro, you don’t understand. I can’t right now. I can’t do this right now.”

Shiro puts a hand on the door handle and a hand between Keith’s shoulders. Without a word, he opens the door and pushes him in. Before Keith can gap it, he comes in and shuts the door behind him.

The room falls dead silent. It’s a tense, awkward silence. It chokes him.

Keith stares wide-eyes at the other’s faces. Pidge winces. Lance reads Keith carefully. Allura’s expression reads ‘bad timing’ and Hunk looks like he’s about to try cover up the situation with a light-hearted joke.

He knows – _he knows –_ that they were just talking about him.

It’s Shiro who speaks first.

“What’s this all of a sudden? We’re not usually this enthusiastic about team bonding, are we? You should’ve invited us.”

Shiro speaks so calmly, so casually, but the meaning behind his words is clear. _Why didn’t you invite us?_ Or more specifically, _Why wasn’t Keith invited?_

Keith really doesn’t want to do this. He’s struggling to breathe as deeply as he should. He can’t hold eye contact with anyone and his gaze flicks left, right and centre. Shiro’s human hand lands on his shoulder. Keith stiffens.

Then there’s movement, the sound of rustling clothes as Lance gets up. Keith heightens his senses, trying to pick up the slightest sign of aggression or rejection coming his way, but what comes his way is a hug.

A hug.

From Lance.

But…why?

_I thought they…?_

_Is this a goodbye hug? Lance is going to say he’s sorry, that although Keith tried hard it wasn’t good enough for them and they’ve all decided that they don’t want him, don’t need to him like they used to, and –_

“I, uh…I saw what happened last night,” Lance murmurs in his ear. “Not all of it, but, um…you can blame Kosmo, okay? Anyways, what I’m saying is…I heard you talking with Shiro, and it made me realise…we haven’t been very supportive of you, have we? Sure, we do when we’re out battling aliens and warships and you’re the one leading us through all that, but outside of that…

“We weren’t aware – _I_ wasn’t aware – that it affected you as much as it does, and I’m sorry about that. We pushed you away without even realising it the first time you led. And even though we were busy fighting Lotor and sewing up holes in the universe, we should’ve expressed our support to you instead of just presuming that you knew it.”

Keith’s starting to lose the tension in his shoulders when he remembers about Lance called the team bonding meeting. Without him. Without even telling him.

The wound starts bleeding again. It doesn’t just bleed this time, though. It _burns_.

In the back of his mind he hears Shiro telling him that it’s okay that these things upset him, but that’s quickly contrasted by Kolivan’s reprimanding. He remembers Pidge crying when he left Voltron for the Blades, telling him she was going to miss him, but then Lance’s sharp tone cuts in asking him why he doesn’t just drift off by himself, _Mr. Lone Wolf._

Keith forces himself out of Lance’s arms. He hastily wipes a sleeve across his face.

_Great, now I'm crying. In front of everyone._

“Keith?” Lance asks hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

Pidge, Hunk and Allura are all hanging back. Shiro stands behind Keith, a solid presence. He’s not trapped, but he’s not free either.

_I can’t take this anticipation any longer._

“It’s okay,” he says thickly. “I’ll go.”

Keith expects Lance to be bewildered, or sad, or disappointed that he would give up that easily. But his expression holds only understanding.

Hunk stands up. “Keith. Remember how I was really losing it when we got back to Earth and I couldn’t see my family? You said it yourself, you’re not good with talking to people, but you stopped what you were doing and going wherever you were going to come talk to me anyway. You’re a great leader, Keith. Even if you don’t realise it.”

“Yeah, man,” Pidge says. She gets up from her perch on the arm of one of the couches and comes to stand at Lance’s side. “You always put everyone else before yourself. You took the brunt of the fall for me countless times. You kept me focused when I could’ve been stressing myself out too much over failing to find leads to Matt and my Dad. When Shiro disappeared, you took up your place in leadership for us even though you didn’t want to. We all tried to connect with Black, but frankly I’m glad none of us did. None of us could’ve led the team through that tough time the way you did.”

Allura’s next. She clears her throat, nervously clutching her hands in front of her.

“Keith,” she says. “It was so wrong of me to behave the way I did when we found out you were Galra. It was even worse of me not to recognise the suffering you were going through when Shiro disappeared at the end of our fight against Zarkon all those pheobs ago. We were all so caught up in diplomacy… _I_ was so caught up in it, in trying to keep up a good reputation and a good fight against the Galra Empire. I kept trying to press us into finding a new Black Paladin, and yet in doing so I was a hypocrite. I failed to see how badly you were hurting. You lost someone dear to you. It wasn’t long before that that I did, too, and yet I still didn’t… I’m sorry, Keith. I’m sorry I didn’t help you.”

Shiro’s rubbing his hand in slow circles on Keith’s back. They had their conversation last night.

Lance pulls Keith back into a hug. “That’s what this meeting was about. After seeing you last night, I figured an apology was long overdue. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I can see how finding out that the whole team got together without you would be a bit…hard to hear.”

Keith’s shaking. He’s a mess.

“And we’re friends, yeah? That means you can lean on us whenever you need it. We’re a team, so we support each other. That means we ought to be actively supporting you, too. We often asked Shiro how he was doing since he was dealing with PTSD, leadership, _us._ ”

Keith can hear the grin in Lance’s voice. Behind him, Shiro grunts.

“But we’ve never asked how you’re doing. We always assumed that if you were going through something, you wouldn’t want to talk about, but the truth is we never _gave_ you the opportunity to talk about in the first place.”

Lance is crying too, now.

“I’m really sorry, Keith. I should’ve realised sooner.”

_It’s okay,_ Keith wants to say. _I’m fine. It’s fine, you didn’t know._

But what Lance is telling him is that he doesn’t reckon it is. While it can’t be expected of them to know when Keith needs help or understand the full extent of what he’s gone through, they can still be there for him.

Keith’s legs give way. Pidge catches him by the waist, Lance by the shoulders. Shiro has his back. For a moment it feels like Lance is about to lose his grip, but then Hunk takes Keith’s upper arm and Allura ducks in to help lower him to the ground.

Everyone stays there like this, enveloping him in a group hug full of warmth and kindness and empathy, and Keith absolutely crumbles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team have a long overdue talk and Shiro discusses his theories about what happened when they passed through deep space (in The Journey Within).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with the last chapter of the series! Sorry it took a while to get around to writing :)
> 
> Thank you all SO much for reading and commenting and leaving kudos!! <3 <3 <3 <3 I can't tell you how much it means :,,)

They all go and sit down on the common room, Keith a mess and everyone else trying their best not to shed any tears if they haven’t already. It’s a while before Keith is steady enough to speak again and when he does his voice is pitched higher than it usually is.

Keith hastily wipes his eyes with heels of his hands. "I'm sorry,” he whispers. “Getting all emotional like this, I..."

Lance smiles. "No need to apologise for something like that."

"Yeah,” Pidge says. “You should've seen Lance in the hangar when we were sending my Dad off. Back in space, I mean."

"Hey! That hangar hadn't been cleaned in ten thousand years! There was a lot of space dust."

"No, there wasn't. And Coran cleaned it. I helped him run the Castle's systems."

"Pidge!"

"I think what they're trying to say," Shiro cuts in, "is that you don't need to feel bad about crying."

Keith hides his face in his hands. "Urgh…”

Shiro laughs and pats him on the shoulder. "You're all good, Keith."

The door opens, Hunk returning with a large box of tissues. Keith’s not the only one who needs it; Lance plucks a couple of tissues from the box as Hunk walks past, earning a small laugh from Pidge.

Lance gives her a friendly punch on the arm, nearly knocking her off her perch on the arm of the couch. She squawks and batters his hand away, grinning.

“I’m sorry we pulled you away from your meeting, Shiro,” Allura says. “We were intending to ask you and Keith to join us after we’d discussed everything among ourselves first.”

Keith, busy cleaning his face, feels Shiro’s gaze fall on him briefly. The few seconds silence before he clears his throat is enough to confirm it.

“It’s fine,” Shiro murmurs. “But I think it would’ve been better to have had this meeting as a whole to begin with.”

“Yeah, I really should’ve thought about how that might’ve seemed to you guys,” Lance says. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s no biggie. We’re here now and the misunderstandings have been talked through…mostly, which is what I want to talk to everyone about.”

Keith tenses in horror. Shiro’s not going to start telling them about all the things he knows Keith gets upset over, is he? He glances over his shoulder at Shiro leaning against the wall behind him.

_No…that’s not it._ Shiro’s expression is contemplative, focused, not the careful, serious look he gets when he’s approaching a sensitive topic.

Shiro frowns. “Keith was telling me about the visions you saw when we were travelling through deep space. I think I know what those were about.”

Lance and Allura exchange confused glances. Hunk stares blankly.

Pidge’s brow furrows. “Visions?”

“You mean Bob?” Allura asks.

Keith struggles to control his urge to laugh at the way she says _Bob._ He hides his grin behind one hand and sees Pidge and Lance doing the same.

“Not Bob,” Shiro says, the amusement evident in his voice. “I don’t remember it because I didn’t see the visions – it was only those of you flying the Lions – but Keith was filling me in on how you guys got stranded in space for a while?”

Hunk groans. “Oh, yeah. Yep, I definitely remember that.”

“We said some fairly awful things to each, didn’t we?” Allura murmurs.

Keith finds he can’t look at them anymore. He’s ashamed of the things he said, but he’s more ashamed of the broken place they came from. Saying to Hunk that he didn’t know how to be a coward like him because Keith’s too afraid of what will happen to his mind if he lets fear take over him. Accusing King Alfor of giving up and telling Allura that her father didn’t seem to be a real fighter when the times called for it…

_You have real nerve questioning someone’s leadership,_ she’d retorted, _seeing how you_ left _us!_

A firm hand on his shoulder. Keith flinches.

He comes back to himself, back to the tense silence that has fallen in the room. He looks up – against his own will not to make eye contact with anyone – and sees everyone looking at him, deeply concerned. Keith chokes on a gasp.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I’m sorry, I-I really am. I di-didn’t mean those things. Not like that. Not…I-I…”

The concern on everyone’s faces has a layer of alarm to it now.

Lance raises both hands. “Wait, Keith – “

“I _honestly_ didn’t mean to say those things! I didn’t!”

Keith doesn’t know what’s happening to him. He’s losing it, losing all the composure he’d thought he’d just regained, and now he’s panicking and the anxiety is back, warning him that _any second now_ they’re going to decide he’s not worthy enough to lead and they’ll kick him out and there’s nothing he can to justify himself.

“Breathe, Keith.”

He should leave first. But would that make him a coward? The others would definitely not accept him back if he did that.

Someone swears softly.

“Keith.”

He blinks. His hands are curled in tight fists in his lap. They’re shaking.

“ _Keith.”_

“No one’s mad at you, Keith,” Hunk says.

“Yeah,” Pidge affirms. “We’re all past that now.”

Shiro rubs his hand over Keith’s shoulder. “Are we?”

The silence returns. It’s suffocating.

Keith swallows hard. He’s used enough tissues already. He’s cried – a luxury, as Kolivan would put it – enough already. Everyone’s probably had enough of it already, too.

“These rifts,” Shiro murmurs. “These tiny fractures between you all? You might not be able to notice them, but the Lions can. While they’re not so significant as to prevent you from forming Voltron, they’re all it takes to prevent you from _really_ forming Voltron.”

“Like we did when we sped to Earth?” Hunk asks.

Shiro hums. “That happened after going through deep space, right? After the Lions stopped working and you guys ended up drifting?”

“Yeah,” Lance says. “It was after we got stranded and a whole bunch of weird forces tried to pull us apart – oh, and that massive monster tried to kill us but didn’t because the Lions came and saved us. We managed to form Voltron and then we, like you said, really formed Voltron.”

“The Lions never stopped working.”

“Well, they did at first, but then – ”

 “They never stopped working, Lance.”

Keith can hear Shiro smiling. Considering it safe enough to look up again, he does. Everyone’s just as confused as he is.

Pidge frowns. “Huh?”

“Strange forces were trying to tear you apart, yeah?” Shiro prompts.

Allura nods. “Very much so. It got rather terrifying. There was one instance where it seemed like we wouldn’t be able to hang on to one another.”

Keith shudders with the memory. The anger – or rather, fear – that had fuelled that force had come from him. Something in his mind clicks as he starts to see where Shiro’s coming from.

“But neither me, Coran, Kosmo or Romelle were affected by it?”

“Hang on, Shiro,” Allura says quietly. “You said visions?”

Shiro has a broad smile on his face.

Pidge’s eyes are wide. “We never the left the Lions, did we?”

“Nope,” he says.

Keith’s brow furrows, mind whirling. “But then…how did we…?”

Shiro withdraws his hand and comes around the couch to sit down in the empty seat beside Keith.

“It happened to me once,” he says, still smiling. “Freaked me out, too. Remember when you all went to the space mall and Allura and I stayed behind?”

Hunks nods. “You said you were bonding with your Lion.”

“Yeah, I certainly was. She took off out of the hangar and wouldn’t let me take the controls. Black said she wanted to show me something, so I had to just trust her and let her show me what she wanted to.”

Pidge raises an eyebrow. “Which was?”

“Daibazaal. She wanted me to see through her eyes, and I did, and that’s how I learnt about the old friendship between Zarkon and King Alfor. I also…kind of fought Zarkon on the astral plane.”

Keith and Allura simultaneously shriek. “You _what?!”_

Shiro shrugs. “Black saved me.”

“He could’ve killed you!” Allura says.

“I know. He told me.”

Lance crosses his arms over his chest. “Wow. Well, I’m glad we’re finding this out now and not back then, sheesh. But what does this have to do with visions?”

“Black and I never left the Castle,” Shiro says.

Allura mumbles, “I thought so.”

“So what I’m saying is, the Lions sensed your need to get to Earth as quick as possible but knew that you guys didn’t have a deep enough bond with _each other_ to be able to form Voltron in the way you needed – the way that would get us all to Earth as fast as a wormhole might’ve.”

Everyone takes a moment to think about that. Keith grimaces; it’s something he’s always been aware of, how they call themselves a team but outside of being a Paladin…he’s never _really_ felt much of a deep connection with the others.

Lance draws in a deep breath. “Keith.”

Keith looks at him, startled. “What did I…?”

“No, I – sorry, I’m not saying it’s your fault. I’m saying it’s mine.”

“What?”

“I helped you out with your vlog, yeah? You said you push people away before they end up rejecting you and I was just…remembering all the times I’ve called you a loner and said you should just go ‘drift off by yourself’…”

Keith stares at him, bewildered. He glances at the others and finds them glancing between each other. Allura’s face is dark with shame. Pidge and Hunk have their eyes narrowed in thought.

It sits wrong in Keith’s belly. _Why does this keep coming back to me? Why do I have to keep screwing things up?_

“You didn’t trust us enough to want to talk about it,” Pidge says, frowning. “Like when I wasn’t sure what you guys would think of me when you found out I’m a girl, so I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you about my family, either, and it split us up and Sendak took over the Castleship and Lance got hurt…”

Keith works his jaw, blinking hard.

Allura turns to Lance. “The space mice told me you’d been feeling rather left out. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I was so busy with Lotor and we were so busy keeping up the image of Voltron that we didn’t take time for each other like we should’ve.”

Hunk raises a hand in the air. “Alright, I’m calling it. More team bonding exercises. We need to be taking time out with each other.”

Pidge nods. “Like when we played Monsters and Mana. Just a whole lot more often.”

Another something Keith wasn’t there for. He feels the exclusion – the rejection – churn inside of him as everyone in the room shares the memory but him. Sure, he wasn’t there and it couldn’t have been helped, but…

His thoughts keep spiralling. Back to that same old place. Back to –

“Keith? Can I ask you something?”

He clenches his jaw, takes a deep breath through his nose and forces himself to meet Lance’s eyes. Everyone might be talking about bonding and teamwork and inclusion, but Keith’s still shaken to the core by the recent misinterpretation he had about the team not inviting him to this group meeting because they didn’t want him. He’s afraid that his answer to Lance’s question may be what drives them to that conclusion.

“I was just thinking, after overhearing you talking with Shiro last night…” Lance pauses, his brow creasing. “You know that time when Allura was captured? We were all discussing options and you said that it might be too risky going in to get her since we’d be bringing all the Lions straight to Zarkon.”

Keith’s knuckles are white. He braces himself for the lecture.

“And Hunk said something about how cold it was of you to say that, like…what if it had been one of the rest of us? I… you….?”

“The question going on in my head,” Keith grits out, “was ‘what if it was me?’

Lance opens his mouth to say something, then stops, eyes widening.

“If it were me in there,” Keith continues, “I wouldn’t have expected you to come and get me. At all. Not for the risk it took, and not for me.”

“You’d expect us just to leave you there?”

He nods.

Shiro’s eyes flash. “Because everybody else left you and never came back,’ he murmurs. “Even me.”

All his walls are down – every single one of them. Keith hates being this vulnerable, his deepest hurts exposed.

He hates that everyone else has to know this anxiety-ridden side of him because he hates it himself.

“You know,” Allura says. “I agree with Hunk. We ought to make team bonding a priority. As Voltron Paladins, we need to. I fear we face a much bigger threat than we realise, and we’re not going to be prepared for it when it comes if we’re not aren’t able to function as a team to the best of our ability.”

Hunk claps his hands. “Team as family. That’s it – that’s our group cheer. Sorry Lance, your suggestion is too long.”

“’Team as family’,” Shiro repeats. “I like the sound of that.”

“I like it, too,” Allura says.

Pidge smiles. “I’m in for it.”

Lance fakes an exasperated sigh. “So not ‘I say ‘Vol-‘, you say ‘-tron’”

“No, Lance.”

“Keith?”

Keith takes a deep breath and considers it for all its meaning.

“’Team as family’," he says. "I like the sound of that, too.”

 

 


End file.
